I’m laying here in my customary pose of late, wide awake knowing I need to sleep yet can’t due to all the stuff going through my head. So I stare at the computer screen and watch moving pictures go by, which eventually lull me to sleep, or I pass out to wake up and start the process all over again the next morning. I’m hoping in a few days the ‘At Risk for Disturbed Sleep Patterns’, becomes non existent; we can change it to ‘Readiness for Improved Sleep Patterns’…even if it takes NyQuil or my prescribed Zanaflex to do the trick.
As I was sitting and doing my homework tonight, I was reflecting on my last day of ‘in the field training’ and a thought popped into my head, scary I know. Hold your seats folks, all five of you that read this, this is going to blow your socks off. J/K, but to my sleep starved and over information loaded mind…it was pretty profound.
We’re expected to be on top of our game, know all the in/outs of what is happening, and to pull off our ‘training’ days without a hitch. Though I’ve yet to accomplish that, I have had the opportunity to come into contact with someone that boosted my flagging self-esteem, and told me that I was doing great and to keep up the good work. It was a good experience, and was great to have someone say ‘good luck, you’re doing good, keep it up’.
So many of these experiences that we have the opportunity to come into contact with, have been through the ringer, and yet they are open to helping us learn. They know that we have to be trained, and we may not get it right, but they are willing to be our opportunities at success. Sometimes it’s failure. But still we had the opportunity.
Here’s the light bulb information that blew me away. We’ve been in school for nine months, the gestational period of a fetus. On Monday, after our final, we will start our second phase of growth as second year students at the end of our initial nine months…babies. Babies are born with innate knowledge (cry, pee, poop, smile, sleep), and then they grow. We’ve been giving our foundations, our gestational period, some of it was given to us carefully laid out…the majority of it was learned by self (becoming innate knowledge). We’re still going to be growing and hopefully will receive some great nutrition the next two semesters…because then we’ll be a full blown child, expected to walk and talk on our own. They’ll send us out into the crazy, wild world to accomplish things on our own.
But for now…now I’m just a baby. Scared spit-less that I missed something that could mean life/death. Worried that I may not remember all the information that is required. Stressed. But still, I must remember…I’m just a baby. Nine months in the making…and the babies were born.
ERM ~ RN 2013 (Lord Willing)
