Life is crazy right now. I am down to 22 days left until my Pinning Ceremony on May 18, and it’s surreal. August 17, 2011, it was a dream, a hope to make it to this point and walk away with the ability to ‘help people’ and be involved in their care. Reality is making it’s way quickly to my door step, that I actually succeeded. I will walk across the stage on May 18, completely in white, possibly looking like the Michelin Tire man…but ready to conquer the world,
or at least find a job and start getting out of debt. There are so many factors that have to be factored and decisions to be made that sometimes boggle my mind and make me want to move into the Blue Bunny Ice Cream factory and just eat myself to oblivion. It’s a scary place we live, this place called Life. But someone has to do it, and I’m glad that I’m one of them at this point in time.
I LOVE doing what I do. Does it get crazy and do I feel defeated sometimes when every IV I attempt either blows or rolls? Do I have to take a deep breath reassess the situation, put on some big girl panties, and go face the world? Do my feet refuse to move me one more step after making it to my car after the second twelve hour shift in a row? At least I made it to the car. There are the good, the bad, the ugly aspects of every job, you take it in stride. But I can honestly say that I LOVE what I am finally doing with my life. It took me awhile to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up (I just turned 36 this month), and I’m not 100% done or to the goal I want to be at in my life (BSN here I come!!). But I love being able to help the patients, even if it’s just to wash their face, and being able to get something done that you know the patient needs. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time working this past month, and I look forward to being able to secure a job and continue being an advocate for the people. Nursing has become my heartbeat, and I want to be the best nurse possible. Bringing joy to my patients and letting God shine through me to them, even if it’s just in a touch I want Him to be the one that guides and helps me help others.
I get lost in all the hub-bub sometimes and fail to stop and take a breath and focus on the One that has made this all possible. I get caught up in the day-to-day, and if you saw my calendar it’s a wonder I don’t meet myself coming, and forget to stop and thank Him for all his blessings he has given me the past two years I have been in this program making my dreams come true. He has been so very good to me. I fail him daily. I am nowhere near perfect, and I have flaws that need to be worked on and conquered. I’m human. And no, that is not an excuse because greater is He that lives in me. But I am flesh and blood, and therefore I fail. I get some of my daily Bible reading from Facebook (terrible I know, I should put down my phone and actually pick-up my Bible); but today there was a scripture reference posted from Philippians 4:6-7: ‘…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus’. It made me stop and focus. I know I need more prayer in my daily routine, and communication (relationship) with God; but this was a reminder that if I take time out to pray, to be thankful, all the stress will be less.
I take that lesson with me into my walk across the stage. Regardless of what happens or where I go, I know that God’s peace will be with me if I allow it to. He will take care of finding my niche in the doctors office or hospital that I am supposed to be working at. I found what I love to do, God will set me in the place where this piece of my puzzle fits perfectly. I just need to remember to pray, accept the peace, and allow Him to guard me.