One-half of one hundred, half of a century…that’s how long it feels like I’ve been on this roller-coaster, but actually it’s how many days are left until I walk across the stage at my RN Pinning and in reality the journey began back in 2009 when I started taking night and on-line classes to get all my prerequisites and other classes (A&P, Sociology, etc) done so when I attained acceptance into the program I would only have my “NURS” (Geri, Maternal Child, Med Surg, etc) classes to take and focus on…not a-half a century ago. :)
I met Aaron Bass in 2009, he was who kept me going through A&P striving to make 100’s and to learn how to spell big words like glossopharyngeal; and anyone that knows me knows what a feat that was. He was also my champion in the ‘freshman’ classroom at the back table, letting me know that even though others around me apparently made the best grade ever by their ‘Miss America Crowning’ reaction; my 78% was still good enough…because hey, ‘you passed’. He helped me understand concepts, grasp ideas, and learn to cope with the teaching technique of ‘Concept’ (big huge umbrella, no definite give me’s, find it on my own) teaching. It was a struggle. We kept swimming like Dori…and we made it. It was fate, more likely God, that made him late to A&P and the only available seat was the one beside me. :)
I’ve built friendships that will last a lifetime since August 2011. These 23 individuals that will walk across the stage with me on May 18 have become my family. They know me and what I have went through the past two years since starting this program on that Monday in August 2011, when we realized that we would be in class until 3:10 instead of the 12:00 as our schedule stated. When at break we all made a mad dash to call babysitters, bosses, and family members to try and get our business taken care of because the schedule we thought we had was not what it was going to be. The adjustments to spending every waking hour with a book, reading and pulling information out to try and learn what needed to be learned. The nervousness and total fright of ‘check-offs’. We made it. Even though we started off shaky, with no idea if we were on the right path and where we needed to be headed (since we apparently all joined the wrong profession ~> nightmares of first semester still haunt me)…we are cresting the hill of the final leg of our journey, and the world is sitting before us.
FIFTY days and counting. Fifty days full of preceptor, meetings, and finalizing of all the forms and paperwork. I am totally excited, scared, and ready to get this show on the road. I have grown and changed as an individual over the past two years. My friends have become acquaintances (for some reason they weren’t much into the books I was reading or the activities I was involved in ~ learning how to insert NG tubes and catheters) and family doesn’t always understand the ‘why’s’ of what I’m doing. Everyone has been there for me, supporting me, telling me ‘it will be worth it’…not ever really understanding what ‘it’ consisted of.
I love what I get to do…I get to help people. I get to interact and be the one that helps them in the process of getting better, or dealing with the fact that it won’t be better. Sometimes the ‘better’ is realizing that it is time to ‘let go’. There are ups and downs, and there will be ups and downs to come.
I’ve lost a lot, gained a lot, and I’m learning what it means to be an advocate not only for patients but for self. It’s been a crazy journey, and it has been worth it. Worth the twenty pounds of stress that has appeared on my body (that I am trying to shed); worth the lost friendships; worth the sleepless nights and grey hair; worth the debt I’ve accumulated; worth the new vocabulary that is ok for use with fellow nursing students, but not so much for new acquaintances as table talk…it has been worth it. And in the next fifty days as I acclimate myself back into society without having a book glued to my fingers, and prepare to join the profession of nursing, as I take a step into the next portion of life journey I am so very thankful for the past two years of my life. It has shown me who I am, what I can be and do. Am I 100% ready? NO, there are still things to learn and edges to sand down and make smooth…I have fifty days to continue to grow. And I will continue to grow after the next fifty days…but I will be moved from a grow box into the soil of the greenhouse…allowed to flourish and grow. I am so very thankful and have been blessed beyond measure the past two years…and yes, even though they don’t know what ‘IT’ consist of, ‘IT’ has been worth it.