Archive for October 2012

Heart-to-heart with my scale…

I’m getting chunky.  I know this by the way my clothes fit, or I should say ‘don’t fit’ anymore.  I’m tall, this is a blessing, because by being tall my frame can carry a lot of weight that people cannot tell I’m carrying.  A BLESSING!!  I knew I was gaining weight, I put ten pounds on at the end of second semester and regardless of what I did over the summer it would not go away.  I complained to my mom, her response and great motivational speech was ‘you’re 35 now’.  I went into this semester being overbooked, sleep deprived, and stressed which equals out to poor eating habits and no exercise.  I’ve found another ten pounds…not good.  This past Sunday I stepped on my scale and freaked.  I have never weighed this much IN MY LIFE, so this week I’m taking my life back…regardless.  Yes it will be a little easier because my school requirements are almost done and I will be able to make it to the gym in the mornings, without getting up at 3:00 am (a good thing).  I’ve not eaten out for two days now (w00t!!), and I actually exercised this morning.  I know that it will take some to get it off, but I must do this for myself and my future patients.

How can I sit and tell someone to eat healthy and exercise if I myself don’t do it.  As I cram a dozen donuts in my mouth chased by a soda, and say ‘here’s the plan…eat right and exercise’.  Not a very good promotion of ‘healthy’.

I must stop ‘treating’ myself because I did good on a test, survived a crazy week, or just because.  This will save calories and money.  A win-win situation.

I must make myself exercise.  I say ‘I don’t have time’.  Yet I make time to watch a video.  I need to change it from a show to exercise.  (I also need to incorporate Bible reading into this equation)

I’m so focused on surviving in one aspect of my life that I’m allowing other aspects to die.  I could end up being an advertisement for Goodyear at graduation if I continue on this path that I was on…not wearing a cutesy little shirt either ~ more like being their blimp floating around the auditorium.

I’ve made a motto of ‘one day at a time’ to make it through this season of my life, but it’s also my life motto now.  To make changes, it will be one day at a time.  If I fail, then tomorrow is a new day.  Start fresh.  I have to make a conscious effort to do the right thing (i.e. like packing my lunch for tomorrow) each day.  I can do this.  I will do this.  And regardless if I’m 35 or 85…I deserve to be the best that I can be.

In a month or so I’ll go back to have a chat with my scale…and hopefully it will be a better heart-to-heart than we had this weekend, because that one left me near to tears.

ERM

Like a Flying Trapeze Family…

The circus has always held fascination with me…all the tricks and stunts the performs can do.  It’s where I got to ride a camel.  I loved going to the circus as a kid, and honestly even later.  All the performers trust one another, they know they have people around them that ‘have their back’, and sometimes if it’s a big traveling type they get pegged as a ‘Carnie’ and it’s their family.  The family may be dis-jointed and ‘different’, but it’s still the ones that you count on.

This past week I have been thinking about one particular set of performers, the High Flying Trapeze artist.  Most of the time they are a family that works together to perform some defining acts while flying through the air.  They know they can let go because they trust the person on the other side to catch them, and yet if there’s a misstep they have the trust of the safety net that is below to save them.  Last week my family landed in the safety net ~ which consisted of the arms of our friends, family, churches, bosses and co-workers.

Life is like a Circus, we all have our spots to perform in.  Some are the ring leader who’s out front in the spot light directing the audience attention to what ring to be looking at.  Others of us are the clowns that make people laugh.  Then some of us still yet are the muckers, the ones who have the job of cleaning up after the animals ~ probably pretty nasty, but we all know life isn’t always a bed of roses.  And at different times the roles change.  We may have opportunities to come forward and be part of the limelight, and other times we step back and are cleaning up messes…but in the end we all have our spot to perform in, and it’s IMPORTANT regardless of what you do; because it takes everything to make the Circus (Life) work.  We all need each other, regardless of how ‘little’ of a role you feel you play in the whole scheme of things, the role is important.

My family was the High Flying Trapeze Family last week…we were doing our thing.  I was in my third semester of RN school, had passed my first two test and was doing well at clinical.  My brother was doing well with his MS, his job was going smoothly.  My sister-in-law had started a new job and was well into it.  The kids were in school.  Dad was working a job.  Mom was finally getting back on her feet after a crazy summer and start of the school year and was headed back to work.  Swing~Swing, let go flying, grabbing, flips in the air — back and forth we were going.  Making it work.  Doing our thing.  Our hands got slippery from the tears that came because life happened, or I should say the ‘end of life’ happened.  We lost the head of both the families that joined together back on December 20, 1974.  The family fell…we lost our grip.

Our safety net saved us.  Our friends who stopped by to offer a hug.  The numerous people that dropped food by the house to help keep us fed so we didn’t have to worry about thinking of ‘what to cook’.  The prayers and words of encouragement from loved ones.  Our church families that were there.  My “Pseudo-Aunt’ Betty Barnett (Married Name?), who was dubbed ‘part of the family’ through all of this chaos.  They stood shoulder to shoulder, coming together for a cause of protecting, supporting, and holding us up as we muddled through the new reality.

It’s been a week since we said our last goodbye.  And we’ve slowly climbed back up the ladder to grasp the bars of our trapeze.  We’re back at it, taking it a day at a time.  We have our memories and a lifetime of love that was bestowed upon us to keep us and help us through the days ahead.  And like that High Flying Trapeze Family…we will soar onward making our families proud.

ERM

Randomness:

When each of my grandfather’s passed away, I wrote a blog concerning them and the memories I had.  As I went through the week and their memorial services things came to mind.  One, each of them had false teeth.  I remember one taking them out to eat (BM) and the other sneezing them into his hankie and calmly putting them back in with the statement ‘they almost got away’ (SM).  Two, flavored Candy sticks, for 10 cents.  We could pick out an assortment of flavors because we each had a dollar to get what we wanted.

I will continue ‘remembering’ them as things go forward…it’s how we keep them real.  Zakar!! (to remember)