This post is going to be random…full of thoughts that are flowing through my head in no particular order. Stick around for the ride, or go elsewhere for more enjoyable informative reading. :)
May 27, 2012, was my two year anniversary for my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis . I was blessed to catch mine early, though I still have symptoms (unseen), it has been kept under control. I was asked about a month ago if I still had it, like it would just disappear (yes, I know, God can heal me if He sees it in the overall plan). When I said ‘yes’ the person looked at me and was like, ‘you don’t act like it’. I’m not sure if they wanted me to get a cane and walk around like I was on death’s door. I’m sure they meant well, but I didn’t know how to respond. They don’t see the fact that my arm goes numb at random times if I get hot or stressed or just because, the night sweats that wake me up totally soaked, the irregularity of body systems that used to work well, the feeling of my scalp peeling off or that there are a thousands bugs running across it when trying to exercise, or just the basic truth that you have to deal with daily that your body decided to revolt against itself and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. But I live with it. I give myself shots three times a week that cause ‘flu like symptoms’; you become achy all over and feel like poo (and yes, as a nursing student I do know how poo feels like); and nice purple/pinkish bruises at the shot sites.
I try to stay healthy, I don’t always succeed. I need to get my diet under control and exercise on a more regular basis and stay true to it. Some days I just don’t feel like putting forth the effort. But I try, and I know that in order to live a full life, I must stay active…MS cannot win.
Someone asked me last week if I had it…they said someone told them I did and they didn’t believe them. When I said yes, and the date that I was diagnosed they were surprised they hadn’t found out before now. I said that I hadn’t made an announcement about it. It may be my crazy independent streak, or the fact that I want to be ‘normal’…but it’s just not something you broadcast. Which I guess this blog takes care of that. :)
I go to the doctor today (Monday, June 18) for a check up. My neurologist is in STL, so I came up early to make a weekend of it. I got to spend time with friends in Columbia (it’s a lot closer to go from STL to COMO, than from Doniphan to COMO). It was great to see Dusty, Mike, and I got to meet some new people. I just kicked back relaxed, got addicted to a new TV series, and did absolutely nothing. I did find a cute jacket and a great skirt while hitting some discount stores on Saturday.
I ate my way through the weekend…
1 – The Cup : a cupcake place. It was ok, but I honestly think I like Jilly’s better.
2 – O Red Mango — GREAT frozen yogurt
3 – Chic-fil-a — we don’t have it in Doniphan :)
4 – Andy’s Custard — @ 12:00 am, after a night out on the town with friends in COMO
Yes, all my food was junk food and carb loaded…but I’m an addict. It was good, and spread out over three days, I’ll just work extra hard at the gym next week. :)
I’m blessed. I know that I can complain sometimes. I can be a crazy lady on a mission that causes people around me to wonder if I’m sane or not. But I’m blessed. I’m blessed with a great family. I’m blessed with a great church. I’m blessed with my health, it could be a lot worse. God has been good to me, though I sometimes fail Him and fail to be what I should be. I fail at being an example for others to follow. I fail at being a good friend. But I am blessed…He loves me, and I’m learning to accept that at face value.
School is quickly approaching. I go back the second week of August. Part of me is afraid, part of me excited. I know that I’m cresting the hill and going to have a down hill run after December. I can do this. It will be crazy. But it will be worth it. I have a lot of pre-study to do before August, and I need to get it started. I’m currently watching ‘A Baby Story’. All pre-class work.
We moved the pharmacy over Memorial Day weekend. Changed our software. And tried to get settled in. The DME department was viewed by the accreditation company. We’re working on getting all our ducks in a row. It’s been CRAZY.
That about wraps it up for now. I have a mini-vacation to Chicago planned for July and I’m looking forward to that. Until then…I’ll continue living my random life.