Archive for May 2012

Gordon’s Get-a-way…restoration!

Lions, tigers, and bears…oh my!!  More like deer, fish, snakes, and turtles…but hey, they gave me the restoration that I needed after a grueling nine months of school.  I ran away for two and a-half days to a family friend’s get-a-way hidden in the hills of Van Buren in the Ozark waterways, where it was quiet, peaceful, and I had the ability to paddle around in my kayak and take pictures and enjoy the smooth gliding of the water.  I did absolutely nothing but eat twenty-four/seven, read non-school books, and watch movies all weekend.  Other than freezing for the ten minutes that I attempted to swim in the river (it’s very chilly up there where all the natural springs run into the river), taking myself up-river for about thirty-minutes float (great exercise), and napping…my days were very quiet.  It’s exactly what the doctor ordered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things that happened while away:  I was stung by what I hope was a wasp on the thumb the night of arrival, while trying to close the gate (in the semi-darkness, hence why I’m not sure what got me).  One small incident when a snake slithered off a log and I thought I would have to travel like Peter and commence to walking on water to get way from it…I just calmly steered my kayak in the other direction and went on my way.  Kinda odd watching it go into the water though about two feet from my ride, but at least it wasn’t ‘in my ride’.

I also hit the local burger/ice-cream joint in Van Buren (The Jolly Cone) for some ice cream…it topped the weekend off.  Now back to reality and preparation for next semester.  Have to watch baby shows and read a book on how to pick priorities.  Gotta love summer vacation. :)

ERM

 

And the babies were born…

I’m laying here in my customary pose of late, wide awake knowing I need to sleep yet can’t due to all the stuff going through my head.  So I stare at the computer screen and watch moving pictures go by, which eventually lull me to sleep, or I pass out to wake up and start the process all over again the next morning.  I’m hoping in a few days the ‘At Risk for Disturbed Sleep Patterns’, becomes non existent; we can change it to ‘Readiness for Improved Sleep Patterns’…even if it takes NyQuil or my prescribed Zanaflex to do the trick.

As I was sitting and doing my homework tonight, I was reflecting on my last day of ‘in the field training’ and a thought popped into my head, scary I know.  Hold your seats folks, all five of you that read this, this is going to blow your socks off.  J/K, but to my sleep starved and over information loaded mind…it was pretty profound.

We’re expected to be on top of our game, know all the in/outs of what is happening, and to pull off our ‘training’ days without a hitch.  Though I’ve yet to accomplish that, I have had the opportunity to come into contact with someone that boosted my flagging self-esteem, and told me that I was doing great and to keep up the good work.  It was a good experience, and was great to have someone say ‘good luck, you’re doing good, keep it up’.

So many of these experiences that we have the opportunity to come into contact with, have been through the ringer, and yet they are open to helping us learn.  They know that we have to be trained, and we may not get it right, but they are willing to be our opportunities at success.  Sometimes it’s failure.  But still we had the opportunity.

Here’s the light bulb information that blew me away.  We’ve been in school for nine months, the gestational period of a fetus.  On Monday, after our final, we will start our second phase of growth as second year students at the end of our initial nine months…babies.  Babies are born with innate knowledge (cry, pee, poop, smile, sleep), and then they grow.  We’ve been giving our foundations, our gestational period, some of it was given to us carefully laid out…the majority of it was learned by self (becoming innate knowledge).  We’re still going to be growing and hopefully will receive some great nutrition the next two semesters…because then we’ll be a full blown child, expected to walk and talk on our own.  They’ll send us out into the crazy, wild world to accomplish things on our own.

But for now…now I’m just a baby.  Scared spit-less that I missed something that could mean life/death.  Worried that I may not remember all the information that is required.  Stressed.  But still, I must remember…I’m just a baby.  Nine months in the making…and the babies were born.

ERM ~ RN 2013 (Lord Willing)

Sunday, May 6…freedom is close at hand.

It’s the Lord’s day, a day of rest.  My internal alarm clock knows no different from the other days of the week…so therefore I’m up at 6:30.  That’s actually kinda sleeping in for me, sad I know, but hey we’ll take it.  Since my last post so much stuff has happened, I know I say that a lot but my life right now is so busy that a ton of stuff happens in a week and some I forget and some things are seared on my brain to be forever remembered.

I turned 35.  I know, I’m getting old.  I don’t really have anything to show for my age.  I’m not married, I don’t have children, I don’t have a job that I went to college for.  Instead I’m currently in school again, working two jobs to support myself, getting gray hair, single, own a home I’m trying to sell, and battling the bulge.  What have I done?  I went to a private Christian College and received a BA in Christian Education that I never used, and no one else will acknowledge (though I would not trade those four years for anything, I made friends that I still have contact with today ~ 12 yrs later); I’ve traveled all over the place (China, Taiwan, Argentina, Honduras, Ireland, Canada, and several of the states); and I’ve continued living my life as best I can.  Sometimes it has needed some tweaking, but we’re going “one day at a time”.

My friends, Kim and Bronson Frost, got to bring their baby home (in April).  Gyddeon was allowed to come home still weighing under 5 lbs, his pediatrician is very proud of him.  He is currently around 5.2 lbs, and doing great.  Our God is an awesome God!!

I’ve learned that a person’s psych is controlling.  Even if you don’t know it at the time, later when you have time to sit and think things through and evaluate what happened and how you reacted, you come to realize that the psych is a powerful thing.  I know that I’m not the perfect student, and I struggle (I’m a ‘monkey see, monkey do’ learner, and the program I am in is more focused on self actualization and self-teaching); my acute care training was almost my undoing.  We had isolation precautions, which means every time I went in a room I was dressing out in protective gear.  I’m on an immunosuppressive drug for my MS.  My doctor has assured me that I shouldn’t be more susceptible to sickness; but knowing that I kill my own immune system by taking Rebif so I can function somewhat normally, was hiding in the back of my head.  My normal instincts went on hold, I was unable to focus properly and do the critical thinking that should have been done without prompting.  I answered questions, and I did follow through when asked…but it was not my best performance.  Looking back, I realized that  protective gear and my psych could possibly have been playing against me more than I realized.  Or maybe I’m trying to think of excuses that will explain why my brain didn’t work fast enough that day, to come up with all the information that was needed.  Either way, I have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and put my big girl panties on and face the rest of this with the resolve that I CAN DO IT.

Next week is Mother’s Day.  The lady at Wal-Mart reminded me and a fellow classmate the other day.  We were like ‘huh’, and then explained that we were in school and at this point in time other things around us are not kept up with.  She said ‘are you in the nursing program’, and when we affirmed that we were she said ‘I have a friend that has asked for a reminder next Saturday, she’s in the program too…so I made a note to text her and remind her’.  We live a very sad existence, when friends have to text you about important things going on in the world to remind you that it’s happening.  But so is life.

I could continue typing for ever.  But it’s getting late (8:00 am); I have studying I could do (test on Monday) or I could get up and go to church and get the bulletin done before everyone arrives.  Then I would be in church for the whole service.  I need me some God time.  I’m so thankful that He loves me, and no matter how far off track I’ve been or have gone He’s still there calling my name and waiting with open arms.  He’s a good God, and without Him I would more than likely be certifiable insane right now.

ERM