Archive for September 2010

What I need…not what I wanted

If you read below you see that I balanced my checkbook the other day, well as is sometimes apt to happen the numbers in the register weren’t looking so well.  I had some bills that were due in order to keep my ‘agreements’ with the different businesses; so I knew that checks had to be sent.  Well, I have a balance in my head of what I ‘need’ in order to be out of debt with everyone (except for my house payment), and to be honest I’ve prayed for that amount to miraculously to show up in my mailbox or some random stranger to walk up and hand me a check.  On Wednesday of last week, my grandpa (not some random stranger) came up to me and handed me some money…was it the ‘balance’ that I’ve been praying for, no, but it was what I needed to be able to pay my bills that were due at that time and not overdraw my account.  God knows what we need, it may not be exactly what we ‘want’, but He will supply our ‘needs’ and keep us going.  He’s pretty awesome like that. :)

I started this post last Wednesday night…before church, and then I shut it down and headed off to worship because I was running late.  Tonight I needed to remind myself how good God is so I opened my computer and completed the story about what I ‘need’ and not what I wanted.  Why?  Because as I laid in bed and tried to sleep my mind was being attacked by thoughts of a situation that happened well over a year ago now, and memories were flooding in that were causing me to go down paths in my mind that are pretty detrimental to a persons psych.  God knew what I needed to happen then, just as He knew what I needed last week…He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever.  Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves of that.

Today I was talking to a friend of mine, and she was talking about how she just found out that I have MS and was asking how I was doing and discussing the fact that satan is doing all that he can to come against us; and she mentioned that fact that I hadn’t had an opportunity to live my life yet.  I’m thirty-three years old.  I have a BA in Christian Education; I’ve traveled to three other continents; been to seven countries other than the US; and have traveled the US pretty extensively.  Am I married – no, do I have children – no (and I have no clue if I can even have children, or will be able to); but I think I have lived a pretty good life.  I have a great family, I am currently working on my second degree (going for nursing this time), and I have some life experiences that are both good and bad — I’ve had the opportunity to love, gain and lose friendships and love, and to go through with the knowledge that I am loved unconditionally by God and He gives me free will to make mistakes that I learn from (and sometimes that I think I need to learn from time and time again — which doesn’t make things easier)…and He extends his mercy and grace to me when I stumble and fall.  And if He never heals me, I know that He’s a healer because He’s done it in the past and He continues to heal people even today…but He’s still God and He LOVES me — regardless.

He knows what I NEED, even if it’s not what I want.  He’s good like that!

ERM

September, hay fever, school

Wow…I thought I was going to make it through the fall without having my ‘weather change’ sinus aggravation since I had a summer ‘cold’.  Not so lucky!  I woke up Sunday with a scratchy throat and some drainage, then Monday was the THE DAY.  Could not breath, sounded awful trying to talk, then my nose would turn on like  a faucet which would have me running for a Kleenex to try to catch the flow.  Lasted that way about an hour at work, then purchased some Sudafed 12 hr and some Afrin nose spray — and the angels were singing Hallelujah.  It didn’t completely get rid of all the symptoms but at least it opened up my nasal passages so I could breath a little better.  Today I went to the chiropractor for an adjustment and had him use his little machine on my face/sinus areas trying to get some relief.  Hopefully this won’t hang around as long as what it has for others — up to two weeks and counting.  I’m on day two and am ready to be done with it.

School is going good so far.  I do pretty much nothing besides homework ALL the live-long-day; but it’s paying off so far.  I have high A’s in both my classes.  Just three more months to go!!  Anatomy and Physiology is difficult, there is SOOO much information crammed into such little things (i.e. cells); it’s mind boggling.  But if I preserver I’ll do good.  My teacher took a dislike to me and my lab partner within the second week of school; but we’re playing nice and trying to stay out of trouble.  I know that people say ‘I didn’t do anything’…in this instance we really didn’t do anything.  Our teacher didn’t like our facial expressions, or the fact that we laughed in class.  So mum’s the word for now…all bookworm and no fun.  Bleh!

I cannot believe that September is already half gone…before you know it Christmas will be here and then we’ll be ringing in a new year.  So much has happened this past year in my life and we’re only nine months into it…hopefully the other four will be sedate and uneventful — except my house could sell and I wouldn’t mind that at all.  I speak that in Jesus Name!!

I did deliveries for work the other day, I went to one of the skilled nursing facilities in town and was waiting for someone to come check the drugs in that I was dropping off.  One of the residents came up to me in his wheelchair and was saying about of stuff, I nodded, smiled, and was like ‘yeah’.  He then proceeded down the hall way to one of the cleaning carts, threw back the side cover, and started unloading stuff off the cart and into his lap.  Then he made a mad dash back down the hallway to me, said  few more words that I could not understand and kept trucking toward his room.  I of course am laughing, because since I wear scrubs for work he probably thought I worked there at the home and I have no IDEA what I gave him permission for…but apparently he felt that he could clean the cart off.  I just let him go!! :)

There has been a lot going  on around here, I feel like I stay busy 24/7 yet don’t get much done.  But…that’s how life goes sometimes.  Right now I’m looking for my bootstraps so I can pull myself up by em’.

Exciting news though…my friends will soon be having their baby.  Nick and Jennifer Spencer can have their bundle of joy anytime after yesterday.  I’m excited!!  Jennifer is even more excited, she just wants to be able to breath again.

Well, I must be going…A & P is calling my name, I have a lot of stuff to try and get done before class tonight and I’ve already wasted three hours of my morning by balancing my checkbook, changing all the burned out light blubs in my house, and writing this blog.  Must get busy!!

Life is good…until next time…ERM.