I think I’m in the process of having a mental breakdown, my job is about to get the better of me and I’m about to be a candle that is snuffed out. Hopefully at some point it will burn again and be a happy candle…instead of the stub of one that is here now. This also comes at ‘that time of month’, so the whole emotion swing had a play in it…but I’m also ready for some changes. My supervisor tells me things are looking up and will be changing soon…I’m really starting to hate coming to work. He said everyone has those days at any job…but is it every day? I’m currently working as three people at my place of business…one of the positons as ‘accountant’ I really shouldn’t be messing with because I’ve only had a few accounting classes and did not major in it. We could be in for some surprises come tax time. :) I’m trying to stay positive, but it’s hard. Not to mention that I’m working as three people at the same pay rate that I worked as two people, and I lost my benefit package in Feburary and am having to pay for my health insurance out of my own pocket now.
I’m batteling a headach today…took pills…getting ready to take more. I was doing some back reading in my Bible today (I’m doing a read through in a year thing, and I missed a couple of days so I’m going back now and picking them up). Anyway, I came across Proverbs 15:3, it reads; ‘The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good’. He sees what’s going on, the good and the bad of it all. Sometimes I live like I don’t think He knows or cares, which is untrue and He does see the good and evil (and everyone can be/do both). I think it’s time to take some serious stock of my life and figure out where I’m going. I’m thirty, I should have a good life plane going on…but not so much. Maybe I’m just having ‘one of those days’ and tomorrow will look better. This is basically some ramblings of a PMS crazed person that has had one heck of a year so far.